In the next few posts to this blog, I will be responding to a missive/blog posted a several months ago entitled "Why I am a Christian Who Supports Gay Marriage." Here is a copy of that blog:
Why I Am a Christian Who Supports Gay Marriage
*I am not a religious scholar, nor am I affiliated with a particular denomination. I'm just a regular person with a Bible, a love for God (and the people He created), and a thirst for truth and understanding. Many people have asked me how I could be a Christian and support gay marriage -- this is my response:
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
I’m a Christian, and I am for the legalization of gay marriage. I usually am very private about political and religious issues, but, this may sound strange – I do not believe gay marriage is either. I believe it is a human issue, and when it comes to human rights, I feel comfortable speaking out. I don’t understand how gay marriage has become THE biggest issue in our country right now -- how it elicits such outrage and fear, and so in an effort to foster understanding, I decided it was time to explain how I feel about it, hoping that it can begin a rational dialogue about this thing that seems to be tearing our country apart. I’m not going to go into the myriad secular reasons behind my decision – because from a civil rights standpoint it seems obvious, so instead, my focus in this little essay will merely be from a Christian point of view.
I used to believe gay marriage was wrong, not because I’d ever really studied it for myself, but because it was what I was told (growing up in the Bible Belt) and because it seemed weird and foreign to me since I only knew two gay people growing up, a great uncle (whom I loved) and his partner (whom I might have loved even more.) But they were not a part of my every day life, and for the most part, I actually forgot that they were “dreaded” homosexuals – they were just two nice men who were kind and funny and who had the coolest house I had ever seen. But as I grew older and moved around, I began to meet many different people of all races and religions – and, yes, sexual persuasions. As I got to know my gay friends, and grew to truly love them, I realized they weren’t some strange alien “sodomites” -- they were just like me. Complicated, hilarious, hopeful, fallible, with a deep ingrained need to love and be loved – in other words: human. (To the people who argue that gay marriage will somehow lead to people marring their dogs, I always ask them to just take a moment to ask themselves – do they really believe there is no difference between a human and a pet? While the government sometimes seems like a drooling child, even a toddler knows there is a difference between man and beast.)
The main story people used to point to as to why homosexuality was wrong was the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. They used to say that God destroyed the whole town because of homosexuals. It was a long time before I bothered to read the story (in Genesis 19) for myself…and when I did, I was shocked. God did not destroy the city because of gay marriage – he destroyed it because an entire city of young and old men gathered into an angry mob and tried to break down Lot’s door so they could gang bang two angels. So it seems to me that the fear of the downfall of civilization as shown in this story is misplaced, it will not come from gay marriage being legalized, but rather, if gang rape is ever legalized. There is a big difference. In fact most of the studying I have done about the (very few) scriptures in the Bible pertaining to homosexuality seem to come in the context of that kind of sexual perversity – not the homosexual act, but the act of forced sex (sex as power, not love), or an act of prostitution (sex for money, not love) or the act of having sex in temples (sex as idolatry, not love.) As The Message Bible translates Corinthians: those who “use and abuse sex.” That makes sense to me in the context of a loving God – that he does not want his children suffering for sex, being forced into sex, or making sex more important than him. Which is why the Bible speaks out against sex before marriage, aka “fornication.”
I understand that there are many different ways to translate the scriptures – but even if one holds onto the translation that homosexual practices are a sin, it is always mentioned in the same breath as fornication and sexual immorality. So could it be, that by not allowing gay marriage, we are actually causing our gay friends to sin? That in forcing them to have sex outside of marriage because we will not let them marry, we are causing them more harm by banning gay marriage than allowing it?
And if homosexuality were really the huge issue we are making it out to be, wouldn’t Jesus have made more of a big deal out of it? Wouldn’t he have made ANY deal out of it? That’s right, the One to whom we are to look to for all of our answers, to follow and be like and model ourselves after never condemns homosexuality – never even mentions it. He does mention divorce. Twice. In fact, he does not make a big deal out of marriage at all, only pointing out that it’s silly to make a big deal out of who has claim over a woman in heaven if, as a widow, she must marry her husband’s brothers -- because there is no marriage in heaven. And he mentions the scripture from Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife and they will be one flesh” not as a “definition” of marriage, but rather to illustrate why divorce is a bad thing – it rips apart two who have become as one flesh, a very vivid way of saying that it is very painful. In fact, from what I have read, divorce is mentioned at least 33 times in the Bible – way more than homosexuality. It seems from a biblical perspective that if there is anything threatening the institution of marriage, it is divorce. And yet divorce is legal. Because marriage is a legal contract as well as a spiritual one, and legally, America is more for giving freedoms than taking them away. Divorce may be forbidden in some fringe religions – but it is legal nonetheless. And those same religious institutions would be free to forbid gay marriage as well, even if it were legal.
And that brings me to the biggest issue of all – marriage as defined in the Bible has a long and complicated past. There is so much talk of “one man, one woman” in the reasoning behind the anti-gay marriage movement -- but is that what the Bible shows? What of David’s seven wives? What of Jacob’s having to marry Leah and Rachel at the same time? Not to mention the true issue waging war on marriages – adultery. Abraham trying to pass off Sarah as his sister so the men he was afraid of could have their way with her – and then sleeping with Hagar for a son. Lot impregnating both of his daughters, and David (for whom seven wives must not have been enough) sleeping with his best friend’s wife. And yet David was “a man after God’s own heart.” Then there was the wisest man in the Bible – Solomon – and his countless wives. There are many many other stories that prove that the definitions of marriage have changed over the years. Heck, God brought the flood because “the sons of God were marrying the daughters of men” – if that were still the definition of marriage, surely destruction would be more likely to come from the legalization of inter-religious marriages (for which the whole world was flooded) than for homosexual gang bangs (for which only one city went down.) Marriage was a contract between fathers for dowries for much of human history – and I, for one, am thankful that has changed!
On top of everything, there’s the small issue that for a large part of the New Testament, people are told they shouldn’t marry at all. Paul maintained in no less than eight scriptures that you should only marry if you cannot control your lust and are “burning with passion.” Should not the same be said for gay people – would it not be better for them to marry than to “burn with passion” as Paul was so worried about?
Speaking of Paul, Romans 1:18 is often quoted as proof that homosexuality is a sin. But if you read the entire chapter (which I always recommend) it is in the context that Paul is talking about people who would rather worship animals and put other things above God – including worshiping sex over God. As I mentioned earlier, many temples during the time the Bible was written were places where people “worshiped” through orgies and “sacred” prostitution (the act of having sex with a man or woman who is acting as a substitution of a god.) But even more powerful than understanding the meaning behind the term “unnatural relations” is what happens if you keep reading past Romans chapter 1, when you come immediately to Romans chapter 2 which reads: “Now if you feel inclined to set yourself up as a judge of those who sin, let me assure you, whoever you are, that you are in no position to do so. For at whatever point you condemn others you automatically condemn yourself, since you, the judge, commit the same sins. God’s judgment, we know, is utterly impartial in its action against such evil-doers. What makes you think that you who so readily judge the sins of others, can consider yourself beyond the judgment of God? Are you, perhaps, misinterpreting God’s generosity and patient mercy towards you as weakness on his part?” What a question – do we consider mercy weakness? This seems to say, we are all in the same boat, we are sinners in need of a loving God, period. People through the years have considered marriage between two separate races as a sin, as well as marriages between religions and even different denominations – but we have (thankfully) done away with those taboos.
I realize that God told Noah to be fruitful and multiply, and that is one of the reasons we have known of marriage as between a woman and a man – so they can make babies. But with the world population weighing in at over 7 billion people, is that really still as important as it was back when the inhabitants of the world fit inside an ark? I think gay marriage might be God’s way of saying, “Now, be fruitful and adopt.” How many of his beautiful children could be saved from starvation, death and the pain of abandonment because there were more loving, committed, married families to welcome them in? And just because people don’t have the proper “equipment” to make babies together, that is not proof that their love is unnatural or any less than a man and a woman who do – otherwise barren women or infertile men should not be able to marry either. It was a source of much shame to be barren when the Bible was written, but we have changed our attitudes in society on that…a precedent I think should be applied to gay couples as well. The inability to procreate has nothing to do with a person (or a couple’s) worth, it simply means they may have to get creative to overcome the biology they were born with.
I think that somehow people fear that their marriages will somehow be put in jeopardy if gay people are allowed to marry. That somehow their own marriages will mean less. Or that the institution of marriage will somehow become less sacred. But the only ones who can threaten a marriage are the ones who are in it. If people could spend more time making sure their own marriages are strong and loving and committed than they do making sure other people can’t have a marriage, then the world would be a much better place. Marriage is a contract for life – but love is eternal, so lets focus on that.
Which brings me to my biggest reason for supporting gay marriage – The Golden Rule. In Matthew 7:12, Jesus brilliantly declares: “Do for others what you want them to do for you: this is the meaning of the Law of Moses and of the teachings of the prophets.” In other words, the one law that incorporates all other laws of scripture (and by so doing, trumps any individual one) is, quite simply: love your neighbor as yourself. And I myself am thankful to have had the opportunity to marry the one I love – how could I deny that same blessing to anyone else? I cannot. And I will not. Which is why I, as a Christian, support gay marriage. (End of subject blog)
Before I begin my response, though, there are a couple of issues I wish to address in the interest of clarity and to avoid misrepresentation of my positions on sex and marriage:
- My position on the marriage issue is pretty well summed up in the following letter which I wrote to the elders of my church back in January of 2007 in response to an expensive marketing campaign they planned to finance to let our community know where we stood on the same-sex marriage issue, primarily by using billboard ads to declare what we believe to be the biblical definition of (as opposed to the legal definition of) the sacrament of Marriage. I wrote this letter AFTER asking the Father what He thought about the idea during my prayer time:
Greetings in the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ.
Let me ask you a question: Does witnessing or evangelizing to people mean trying to make them do what you or God thinks they should do, or is it about convincing them to change their hearts so that they want to change their rebellious ways? Did Jesus Christ commission born again Christians to immerse ourselves in our society’s fruitless efforts to elect officials and pass laws in order to make lost people (some of whom appear to be masquerading as Christians) toe the line, or did He commission us to be dispensers of grace, mercy and love in quantities which will overwhelm the evil in men’s hearts, and cause them to search Him out?
Christ calls us to be His ambassadors to the world (1 Cor 5:20), yet we insist on being an army of occupation. We seem to be more concerned about exercising our citizenship in this country than we are in expressing our citizenship in the Kingdom of God. What good is it to spend a lot of money, talent and other resources on creating a huge campaign to market the concept of “Marriage – one man, one woman”, when statistics show that around one third of the marriages in the Christian community average 2 men and 2 women (just not at the same time)? Do you not see the hypocrisy of this endeavor?
I would surmise that some of the motivation behind this plan is your concern that our society is going, pardon the expression, to hell in a hand basket; or worse, God’s going to loosen His wrath on America and destroy our comfortable little haven of Christianity. In that case, let me ask you to recall Abraham’s hypothetical negotiation with God in Genesis, chapter 18, over His planned destruction of Sodom, a city which had been overcome by sexual perversion and immorality. Remember? Abraham asked God if He would spare the city’s destruction if there were fifty righteous people living in the city. God told Abraham that for fifty righteous people He would spare the city. Abraham continued negotiate: What about forty five; what about forty; what about thirty; what about twenty; and finally, what if there were only ten righteous people in the city? In every case, God said He would spare the city. (Please recall that although he destroyed the city and its occupants, He made provision for sparing the five righteous people who did live there.) My question is this: Shouldn’t we be about being one of the righteous persons that God would spare the city, or country – or world – for, rather than trying to be the conscious of a bunch of lost and rebellious people by passing a new law for them to struggle with?
You see, I believe that our focus is not to be on the family, or marriage, or the church, but rather, on Jesus. As Christians, if anyone comes up to us and asks us what we think about same sex marriage, shouldn’t we answer them by first asking them what they’ve done about Jesus? If they haven’t become born again and made Jesus Lord of their life, then our answer is only for the sake of argument, because they are lost and facing eternal damnation, regardless of our opinion, or their actions. On the other hand, if they have accepted Jesus, and believe in His Word, then they already know what God’s plan is concerning marriage, and again, our opinion concerning this subject doesn’t really matter.
Now, one final question: Do you really think that people in our community, whether they belong to the church or not, do not know where our church stands on the subject of same sex marriages, or abortion, or any other of a number of social ills? Brothers, if we have to have a marketing campaign to declare our position on these issues, then haven’t we already missed the boat on presenting who we are and what we are about? Which is more important: Evangelizing the lost, or being a conscious to the community?
I think Philip Yancy said it best in his book on Grace: He said, “If my activism, however well intentioned, drives out love, then I have misunderstood Jesus’ gospel. I am stuck with law, not the Gospel of grace.”
Thank you for your time and consideration.
A Concerned Church Member
Just to summarize, my first question to anyone who is reading this blog is this: What have you done with Jesus? He has unequivocally declared, "I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) (NIV) He also said that unless you become born again, you cannot enter or see the Kingdom of God, nor have eternal life. (John 3:3-19) So the fact is, until you have dealt with this issue by inviting Jesus into your heart and making Him Lord of your life, nothing else either He, His Father or the Bible has to say about the issues of this world or the Kingdom of God makes any difference because you and others like you are going to do and say what you want to do and say, regardless of what either they or I have to say. To those who are born again, it's important that we hash this thing out and try to establish what the truth of the matter is, because I assure you, I do not want to be living my life in error, and I sure don't want to be causing others to do the same thing.
- Eugene Peterson has made two very important stipulations about the popular book he wrote, entitled The Message, which is pretty much a paraphrase, readable translation of the Bible: First, it should never be used as a study bible, and second, he never meant for it to be adopted for use by congregations in their services. In a Christianity Today interview he said this: "When I'm in a congregation where somebody uses [The Message] in the Scripture reading, it makes me a little uneasy. I would never recommend it be used as saying, "Hear the Word of God from The Message." But it surprises me how many do." Essentially, he was saying that he did not want his book to be used to determine or establish doctrine. He said His main purpose for writing The Message was to help new Christians become more interested in reading the Bible by easing the structure and format of the traditional Bible and using more modern terms to make it more fun to read; think of a preacher reading the Bible and telling you what it means in his own words. However, in doing this, verse numbers are dropped or combined, verses are grouped and combined, and many words and phrases are dropped and changed; this makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to compare with all the major Bible translations. Here is an example of what I mean: The following is a comparison of an excerpt from Scripture that is traditionally called the Lord's Prayer (Matt 6:9-13) using the top two most popular translations of the Bible and the The Message:
New International Version
9. This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
10. your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
11. Give us today our daily bread.
12. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
King James Version
9. After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11. Give us this day our daily bread.
12. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
The Message
9-13 With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:
Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best— as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.
As you can see, the wording of this popular, well known Scripture has been so drastically changed by The Message rendition as to make the passage almost unrecognizable, although it may sound good. The point is, by the author's own admission, The Message is just not a good or reliable resource for determining what God is trying to tell us in the Bible Scriptures, especially in determining His position on specific issues. I think that the best way to describe the situation is this: The Bible is "black and white" on what God has to say and its teachings, whereas The Message is, well, sort of "gray."I will be using the NIV Bible, and crosschecking it with the King James Bible (Old and New translations), the American Standard Bible and the Amplified Bible to establish my points and argue my position. By the way, if you argue that all the other Bibles were written by men (humans), too, you would be right, but all of the other primary, popular translations of the Bible were written by committees of scholars and translators, thus greatly minimizing the possibility of translation and doctrinal error...whereas The Message was written by one man, who doesn't even claim that his version is the Bible.
- One thing the Father showed me early on about the Bible is this: Scripture must be interpreted according to the Gospel Message, and not the other way around! When you try to interpret the Message from Scripture, you invariably wind up with confusion, conflict, contradictions, distortions and lies, as we've seen ample examples of over the past 1800 years...And where there is confusion and fallacy, the devil and his demons rule, whether it be in our personal lives or the life of our communities. That's why so many people either dismiss or distrust the Bible, and accuse it of being loaded with error. However, when you interpret the Scriptures according to the Message of the Gospel, which is the Message of Reconciliation (that is, God has reconciled the world to Himself in Christ Jesus, not counting people's sins against them, so that in Him (Christ) we might become the righteousness of God), then confusion and conflict melt away, and the truth of God's awesome love for us emerges. And once we know(i.e., experience) that love, we won't be forever trying to figure out how to use His Word to circumvent His loving plan for mankind in order to satiate our various worldly desires.
- Finally, please do not take either what I say or what this blogger says and make it your position or doctrine; you need to take a good Bible and get alone with God in prayer and ask Him to show you what the truth is these issues. James 1:5 says "If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
(NOTE: From here, please proceed to the bottom of the list of archived postings and begin with Response #1)
